“Not only does America have a very serious problem, but our people have a very serious problem…”
– Malcolm X
That problem that we have is called “Self Destruction”.
We’re moving on to a new year. This is the time that people attempt to shed old habits and start new ones. The truth is, we all have self destructive behaviors that we should leave behind. Here are just a few toxic behaviors for us to tackle.
1. Comparing – Trust me. Everybody on social media that looks happy is not really happy. Everyone has ups and downs, trials and tribulations. Don’t let the internet fool you.
2. Q-TIP – Quit Taking It Personal. Everything ain’t always about you.
3. Open Your Mouth – Your happiness will suffer by not speaking up and you can also do some serious harm to your relationships. That doesn’t mean you should make a big deal out of nothing. It means you should speak up if something is bothering you while at the same time, picking your battles wisely.
4. Man/Woman-Up – It doesn’t matter how much trauma you’ve experienced in life, get rid of the victim mentality. Access your power and manifest some will. We all have it.
5. Stop Brown Nosing – Stop trying to make everyone happy all the time.
6. Grudges – You’ll literally make yourself sick holding on to stressful grudges. Will it matter in 2017? Probably not. Let it go.
7. Productivity – Use your time wisely. You don’t want the year to go by and you haven’t accomplished anything. Think about what you’re spending your time doing. Is it helping you get where you want to be? If not, do something else.
8. Grieving – It’s ok. Maybe you’ve lost a parent, your brother has moved away, or your child has gone off to college. It’s ok to miss them and cry. Just remember that no matter the circumstances, YOU have to strive regardless.
9. Love – Love should not be torturous. You don’t have to try to hold on to something that continues to hurt you. it’s ok to move on.
10. Negativity – Stop looking at all the negative things in your life and start looking at the positive. Some people get locked in to a negative mentality and just can’t progress. Look at the bright side of things in 2016. Practice gratitude.
11. Be Wise – You’re smarter than you think. At least I hope you are. You’ve had many experiences in life. Hopefully you’ve learned from them so you don’t make the same mistakes.
12. Control – Check yourself. Nobody wants to be around some loud mouth who is always mad at the world. Get a grip. If you need to, get some professional help. Find a healthy way to express your emotions like painting, or boxing… in a gym of course.
13. Blending – It’s ok to be different. You’ll never be truly happy if you’re pretending to be someone that you aren’t. If you like Vanilla Ice but your crew likes M.O.P., well… If you can’t be yourself and be accepted, find a new crew. Move on. You’ll be miserable listening to M.O.P. if that’s not your thing.
14. Compassion – Stop laughing, trying to tear people down and punishing people. They probably need your help not your ridicule. If you feel good doing those things to hurt them, you’re wack!
15. Fear – You’re letting fear hold you back aren’t you? What do you have to lose? Make a calculated risk and just go for it.
16. Judgment – You’re life isn’t that grand that you could even think about judging others. If they’re not your cup of tea, just don’t rock with them. Get off your high horse and don’t ever forget where you or your people came from.
17. Validation – Are you the one who always needs validation? If you’re dope, you don’t need anyone to tell you so. Just be dope; know it and own it.
18. The “Get Over” – I can’t stand a mofo who is always trying to get over. Just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should do it. You know what I’m talking about. Have some integrity.
19. Perfection – It doesn’t always have to be perfect. It’s ok to make mistakes. Just fix them as best as you can and move on.
20. Frontin’ – Listen, People did not forget that you were that little dirty dude from around the way. You can stop frontin’ like you ain’t never been ashy a day in your life. But, people do not forget. It is ok to grow and develop but don’t suddenly look down on others. It just won’t fly.
21. Complaining – If you’re not satisfied, do something about it, but stop complaining about your job, living situation, health and spouse. Nobody wants to keep hearing all of that. If you’re dissatisfied, bring about a change.
22. Discipline – With all these challenges lately, why don’t you challenge yourself to something. How about… I challenge myself to not drink soda for a month, or to read for 30 minutes each day, or to save the money that I would’ve spent on the cigarettes that I will not smoke. Whatever it is, in the end you’ll be so proud of yourself. Share your challenge with others so they can encourage you. Some may laugh and doubt your ability but remember, this is about SELF discipline and you don’t need their validation. Prove them wrong.
23. Gossiping – I know this is a hard one because people love drama. The thing is, if you mind your own business and worry about yourself, you won’t have any information to gossip about. Remember #7? Take a glance back up. How is talking about somebody else’s drama helping your own drama? It ain’t so shut up and focus on yourself. I know it probably makes you feel good to talk about how badly someone else’s life is, but the truth is, if you have time to talk about how bad someone else’s situation is, your life can’t be that fulfilling. Successful people don’t have time to gossip. It’s simply not in the schedule.
24. Blaming – It’s always everybody else’s fault but yours right? WRONG. Look at you and your role in the situation. It can’t always be somebody else’s fault. It just can’t.
25. You – Don’t forget to take time for self care. Your physical body needs attention, inside and out. Your emotional well being needs attention too. Find healthy activities and ways to vent.