“Miss-Understood” is a new weekly feature on HERSource that will address controversial, overlooked and/or sensitive trending topics affecting everyday women as well as women in the spotlight.

For this week’s column, we’re taking on some of the most common responses to Ciara‘s $15 million defamation lawsuit against Future and why handling deeply personal matters without seeking some form of validation or relief by airing out the others involved on a public platform has become such an uncommon feature of adulthood.


“Ciara Started It When She Allowed Her New Man To Publicly Interact With Her Son So Soon After They Began Dating”

The true motive behind Ciara choosing to bring Russell Wilson around baby Future so soon after they began dating is one we’ll likely never know for sure. Maybe she did do it to get back at Future for the public humiliation he caused her during their time together -OR- maybe she just made the decision to live her life as it played out and not care what implications or public opinions were formed because of the actions associated with doing so. Either way, while Future’s displeasure with Ciara having their son around another man is not abnormal, the reality of the situation is this: neither Ciara nor Future are obligated to be mindful of not hurting each other’s feelings or doing things one finds disrespectful now they’re apart. When a child is involved, in many cases, nearly anything can fly in the absence of the other parent until someone puts their foot down and decides that it doesn’t. Just as Future is “allowed” to allude to Ciara using their son as a pawn on the internet and potentially damage her credibility as his mother, she is also “allowed” to not hide her new man from her son just because his father doesn’t approve.

See how that works?

If Future felt Ciara having their child around her new man was harming anything other than his ego, then maybe he should have taken her to actual court instead of the court of public opinion. Their one and only responsibility as it pertains to each other now is to ensure that their son’s well being is not negatively affected and from what has been seen publicly so far, baby Future is just fine.


“Yeah But…$15 Million Is A Lot Of Money…”

Yes, $15 million is a lot of money but when you’re a millionaire, it often takes “a lot of money” to get your attention when someone wants you to stop doing something that they believe negatively affects someone other than you. Ciara couldn’t get through to Future by ignoring his media antics and comments attempting to publicly defame her character and attack her credibility as a mother, so now, his actions will come at a cost. Regardless of your personal opinion of her, Ciara is a public figure and nationally known entertainer whose album sales, brand endorsements and other business ventures are the lifelines of her livelihood. When you feel something someone has publicly said has the potential to stifle the way you make your living and take care of your family to an intolerable extent, you go to court to ensure that it doesn’t happen again by making them pay for it in one way or another. When you’re on the receiving end of the consequences and your abundance of wealth is one of your most prized possessions, “one way or another” can mean major dollar signs…especially when dealing with a mother trying to protect her child’s interests at all costs.


“If She’s Moved On And Not Worried About Him, She Shouldn’t Care What He Thinks Or Says”

Have you ever attempted to move on from a relationship but your ex was constantly bad mouthing you to people they knew would relay they message(s) back to you? For celebrities, that’s how the internet works when there’s a split. Add a child into the mix and there’s only so much “not caring” you can do before you feel you’re left with no choice but to take things to the next level and put a stop to the constant negativity coming from a person whom you’ll likely be dealing with for the rest of your life whether your like it or not. As you might imagine, the need to shut down the bad mouthing is also heightened when the value of someone’s publicly stated personal opinions are so influential that they could potentially affect your revenue stream.

Whether or not Ciara will actually  follow through with her lawsuit as it stands right now remains to be seen, but one thing for certain is that Future will think long and hard before he uses social media as a soapbox to slander Ciara or air out issues pertaining to their child again and in that regard, everybody wins in the long run….even Future.