Because you need to know.
These days, people don’t value or appreciate a solid companionship. The idea of a relationship has become so diluted and uncommon because our people are more individualistic, and anything that takes time and patience is a burden. “I don’t have time for this” may be the easiest cop out of a relationship in 2015, because with such fast paced lives, we avoid making time for someone else to play a key role. “Situationships” are beginning to phase out relationships.
What’s a situationship? It feels like a relationship, and to everyone else it may seem like one, but it’s not.
The difference between a full-on relationship and a “situationship,” as Fabolous simply called it, is as simple as this.
1. The title “boyfriend or girlfriend.” Although this is important, it doesn’t solely define a union.
2. Both the parties understand that being committed to someone in a relationship means they are off the market and no longer available to anyone else.
3. It’s monogamous, which in definition means the individual has only one partner during their lifetime or at any one time. This brings stability and safety to the intimate circumstance.
4. Dedication to building a foundation in pursuit to one day get married and/or have a family unit.
1. Dating someone that tells you from day one he/she is not interested in any type of commitment.
2. There are no expectations, or questions that require an answer. You are both on the same page as to “what it is” and can genuinely have a great time together without strings attached.
3. There’s something in it for you. Sex often complicates things, or allows the mind to put up with the lack of commitment because there’s an addictive nature to it. Although it may not be healthy for you to deal with that particular situation, you somehow always end up back there.
4. You’re hiding it. You can’t be honest with the closest people to you about what’s going on because it’s not socially accepted and people will judge you for it. There’s no way to formally explain what’s going on between you two because that hasn’t been discussed or defined yet. It’s possible that you’re ashamed of it, but your having fun so who cares…right?
Men very often confuse the two because they expect the women to be to committed to them while galavanting freely as a single man. BE CLEAR about what you’re getting yourself into, because you can’t set boundaries if that wasn’t part of the agreement in the first place. CHANGE THE DYNAMIC if you’re in a situationship, but you’re looking for more.
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-Tia Long (@bytialong)