Ted Cruz is competing for the Republican nomination for this fall’s presidential election, so it’s only right that he gets enveloped in a sex scandal just a few months away from the finish line, right? According to a report from the National Enquirer, Cruz has been romantically involved with five women not named Heidi Cruz, his wife of 15 years, which certainly won’t help Cruz’s chances of besting a streaking Donald Trump, especially considering people will generally believe anything, and those same people have access to voting booths.


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The best part of the scandal however, isn’t the report that one of the women Cruz is involved with is Trump spokesperson Katrina Pierson, or even the fact that the Enquirer thought pixelating her face would impede the internet’s mission to identify her. The best part, as is tradition, is the internt’s GIF, meme and satire-filled reaction to the “news,” which is a much better bit of “news” in the first place.

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