Kim Porter’s untimely passing last November took the entire Hip Hop community by surprise. Diddy, who dated the actress and model on-and-off again for decades, was especially devastated about losing his “soulmate.”

Despite having three children together and being together for so long, the ex-couple never got married. The mogul took to Instagram to upload a picture of him and Kim with just a broken heart and the abbreviation, “SMH,” in the caption.

The tumultuous nature of their relationship prompted many trolls to question the Bad Boys head honcho digital memorials of her. One user checked Diddy for not putting a ring on it while she was alive. “When she was alive you didn’t wanna marry her. Confused negro. GTFOH,” they wrote. While many celebrities are known to clawback or simply not respond, he surprisingly said, “I know. Played myself smh.”

Diddy was clearly heartbroken when Kim passed away. He delivered a heartfelt eulogy at her funeral explaining how close they still were. “I was really depressed, and I don’t know why,” he explained. “I just went through a dark dark time. She would come over […] Even though we wasn’t together like that, she was that type of person. It’s hard to love someone when you ain’t with them.”