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Mental health is real and it’s a subject we as a culture really need to talk more about. Former NBA standout, Ben Gordon is opening up about his mental health.

Gordon wrote a piece for The Players’ Tribune this week in which he opened up about his mental health issues, which he says have led him to the brink of suicide.

Gordon admits he thought about committing suicide every single day for six weeks straight. He described how he suffered from insomnia and would go to the roof of his apartment building at 4 a.m. and think about jumping off.

“I was obsessed with killing myself. It’s all I researched, all I thought about,” Gordon wrote. “One night my panic attacks got so bad that all I could think about was escape. Man, I’m telling you … you become like an animal. It’s instinctive.”

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After multiple arrests in 2017, Gordon sought help and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, an illness of the brain that causes extreme changes in mood and energy levels.

Mental illness is a subject that touches everyone. Gordon is in a place of sharing his experiences now, so maybe it helps someone who is currently going through it now.