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Doja Cat was the latest person on the chopping block after racist videos of her surfaced online. “I understand my influence and impact and I’m taking this all very seriously,” she wrote in an Instagram post over the weekend. “I love you all and I’m sorry for upsetting or hurting any of you. That’s not my character, and I’m determined to show that to everybody moving forward. Thank you.”

But that was just the tip of the iceberg. The “Say So” rapper appeared in Tiny Chat video conferences with “alt-right white supremacists.” In her IG live response, she acknowledged she “shouldn’t have been on some of those chat room sites, but I personally have never been involved in any racist conversations. I’m sorry to everyone that I offended.”

Doja also created a song called “Dindu Nuffin” that’s used as a racial slur for victims of police brutality. Twitter users claimed the song was targeted at Sandra Bland, but the pop star said “It was in no way tied to anything outside of my own personal experience. It was written in response to people who often used that term to hurt me. I made an attempt to flip its meaning, but recognize that it was a bad decision to use the term in my music.”

“My behavior isn’t something that always needs to be followed,” she said in the video above, also admitting that her apology note was “an edited piece” workshopped by herself and her team. “I’m not perfect. At the end of the day, I shouldn’t be doing dumb shit. But also I need to stand up for myself instead of making a video that’s diplomatically and politically correct.” She mentioned how she tried to record multiple apology videos (and even played clips of them) before opting for “being on Live, telling you guys my fucking truth, and being completely honest.”

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In regards to the allegations of self-hate, Doja Cat said “I love my skin color. I think I’m beautiful,” she said. “The times that maybe there was a photo that was lightened to a certain point — that shit just happens. I am not behind editing my photos.” Her video also addressed “Dindu Nuffin,” which she called “maybe the worst song in the entire world” and “lyrically lost.” She also apologized again for creating it and said it was “in no way” connected to police brutality.