Mariah Carey is the self-proclaimed Queen of Christmas because as soon as Halloween is over, Holiday lovers play her infectious, classic song, “All I Want for Christmas Is You” on repeat.

MC is bringing her fans into her Winter Wonderland virtually on December 4th with a spectacular variety Apple TV+ show, Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special. The star-studded show will feature Snoop Dogg, Tiffany Haddish, Ariana Grande, and more plus a soundtrack.

“I think it’s just that longing that I had as a child, that I always wanted things to be perfect for the holidays. And they never were,” she says. “It was always somebody ruining the moment, always these dysfunctional family members who came around and foiled everything. And so I just made a pact with myself that I wasn’t going to allow that to happen anymore.”

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The singer says she created “the Christmases that I wanted to have” after splitting from her “first relationship–slash–marriage,” to record exec Tommy Mottola.

In an interview with Elle she explained that it’s a tradition for her to bring a winter wonderland for her and her children. “I literally go to a snowy place. Reindeer are there,” she said. I’m not making this up. Santa Claus comes, hangs out with the kids. And by the way, even if I didn’t have kids, I would be doing this.”

Mariah Carey says Christmas was the brief moment she “got to breathe for a second” because “a lot of very bad stuff happened to me when I was 12. But also, there is the spirit of that kid, that fighter who doesn’t give up, who does embrace who she is, even though the world didn’t understand that from my point of view.”

You can get more details about Carey’s upbringing in her memoir that she released last Fall.