The coronavirus pandemic affected everyone differently and Taraji P. Henson reveals that she contemplated suicide.

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The actress is open about her struggles with depression and anxiety, and said that she had a “dark moment” in recent months.

“For a couple of days, I couldn’t get out of the bed, I didn’t care. That’s not me. Then, I started having thoughts about ending it,” she said during her Facebook Watch series, Peace of Mind with Taraji.


The 50-year-old bravely shared that the negative thoughts came to her mind “two nights in a row” and that she owns a gun that she keeps locked in a safe.

“If I could go in there right now, and just end it all ’cause I want it to be over, ” Henson recalled of her thoughts.

“Thought about my son [Marcell Johnson], I said, ‘He’s grown, he’ll get over it,’” she continued.

Like many regular folks, Taraji P. Henson saw herself struggling with depression as she complied with the mandated COVID-19 lockdown. “People were calling me, I wasn’t responding. I didn’t care,” Henson said.

The Empire star told a friend about her mental state and admitted that she felt “ashamed.” “I was like, ‘I don’t want them to think I’m crazy.’ I don’t want them to, you know, obsess over me or think they gotta come and sit on me,” Henson said. “So one day I just blurted it out to my girlfriend. She called me in the morning and I was like, ‘You know I thought about killing myself last night.’”

She added that it was important for her to express her thoughts before it becomes a plan. “At first it was like, ‘I don’t want to be here,’ then I started thinking about going to get the gun. That’s why when I woke up the next morning, I blurted it out because I felt like after a while it was going to take over me and it was going to become a plan.”