In an exclusive interview with famed mental health therapist Dr. Oz, actress Stacey Dash revealed her addiction to drugs in the past while she celebrated five years clean on the day of the taping.

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Dash says that her addiction was her “deepest, darkest secret”, admitting that she was popping up to 18-20 Vicodin pills a day. The 52-year-old Mo Money actress says that she is the survivor of an abusive relationship, which at times left her physically bed-bound for weeks.

“He would beat me so bad, I couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks. I couldn’t walk —[he broke] my arm, tied me to the bed for three days,” she said. “Some part of me thought that’s what I deserved.”