Last night (Tuesday, November 10) was a night to remember for fans of the The Brilliant Idiots podcast. Charlamagne tha God and Andrew Shultz took their hilarity to the Gotham Comedy Club for a live show (their third) kicking off The New York Comedy Festival.
There were plenty of wild moments throughout the sit-down, but these five standout moments show just how topical (and electric) the duo’s commentary is.
- 50 Cent Vs Vivica Fox
Vivica Fox recently insinuated former boyfriend 50 Cent was gay so of course this sparked the first crazy moment of the night. Charlamagne and Shultz explained how Fox couldn’t really talk sh*t if, as 50 claimed in his retort, she ate his ass.
Charlamagne: “I stand by the One Crack Commandment—if you ate a man’s ass out, you can never talk sh*t about that man again”
Shultz: “Yea, I’ve had my ass eaten out. And my sh*t is hairy as a motherf*cker!”
- Caitlyn Jenner Named “Woman of the Year” by Glamour Magazine
Caitlyn Jenner being named “Woman Of The Year” sparked much conversation between the fellas. The Idiots explained why Caitlyn isn’t receiving the right award.
Shultz: “I don’t think Caitlyn deserves Woman of the Year because she just became a woman. If anything, she should get Rookie of the Year. Caitlyn was able to get out of a murder because she became a woman!”
Charlamagne: “Yea, man. Caitlyn hasn’t fully committed to becoming a woman [without] cutting his penis off.”
- Girls “Taking One For The Team”
Charlamagne told a story of how him and childhood friend Wax (now his bodyguard) ran a train on a girl when they were younger. The question was then posed to the ladies in the audience to see if any had the same experience. One brave soul took the mic and explained her situation:
Girl: “Well, it was in Moscow.”
Shultz: “That sounds like a part from the movie Taken.”
Charlamagne: “So you had a train ran on you by two Russians?”
Girl: “Yea, it was a total mess. I was there for 48 hours straight and neither of them spoke English. I was drunk, so it was kind of just understood.”
Charlamagne: “So what made you want to f*ck both of them?”
Girl: “Ugh, I don’t know. It was Christmas.”
Charlamagne: “Wait, so if you were drunk how did you know you only f*cked two?”
Girl: “Well there was a third, but I wasn’t having it.”
Shultz: “So that’s where you draw the line? [Mimics her] I’m no slut!”
- Why Girls Should Know How To Suck D*ck And The Role Of The “Side Dude”
Shultz began to explain why girls should know how to suck d*ck because of the different avenues they learn from. The conversation then turns to how your girl can’t have a side dude on the team.
Shultz: “When we were younger, porn wasn’t free. You actually had to go out and pay for porn.”
Charlamagne: “There’s actually no reason for a woman to not know how to suck d*ck.”
Shultz: “There are so many things that you [women] can practice on. Vegetables, me…”
Charlamagne: “Your girlfriend learns how to suck d*ck from her side guy. That male friend that keeps hanging around your girl is the one she’s practicing on.”
Shultz: “There are girls in this room with their boyfriends and their BFFs.”
Charlamagne: “If you have a girlfriend and she has a BFF that really stands for Best F*ck Friend.”
- Gays Are Poppin’
After having a slight back and forth about Shultz not liking his drink, the topic of homosexuality started and how gays are the “new wave.”
Charlamagne: “You have to announce that s*it now. You can’t just go and say gay, you have to say GAY! Young Thug the hottest rapper in the game. The gays are popping.”
Charlamagne: “Just to be clear, I put a period between game, and gays.”
Charlamagne: “Y’all don’t think Young Thug the hottest rapper in the game? Cool, I just didn’t want to seem like I’m gay bashing.”
Once again, The Brilliants Idiots did what they always do: say some interestingly stupid things. The way the duo is able to relate to their audience though any topic is amazing to watch. The full-length podcast will be released tomorrow afternoon on iTunes and SoundCloud.